The Ultimate Guide to Social Self-Mastery
10 Social Habits Destined to UP Your Interpersonal Game
Habit 5: Looking into people's left eyes.
Today’s habit is another peculiar one, much like carrying objects in your left hand; but this habit, too, has good reason to be on this list of successful daily habits.
Let’s begin with some self-reflection: how are you at making eye contact? Do you make any? In what way are you doing it? Do you engage in direct eye contact with another person at almost all times, even when YOU are speaking? Are you looking around the room for the nearest exit? On which eye do you focus if you are making eye contact with someone else? Are you constantly switching your focuses from eye-to-eye? Have you been staring at foreheads this whole time?
I have good news for you, if you are one of those people who are looking to enhance your feelings of connectedness with others: this habit is next-level stuff!
Take into consideration that when someone is facing you, his/her left eye appears on the right of the face as you look at it. This means that if you wish to engage eye contact with the left eye, you must look on the right side of the face.
So, why would you ever consciously choose to look at people’s left eye? In one simple reason, it is the eye closest to the heart.
Now, we have known for some time that the human heart really has nothing to do with feeling emotions because it is the brain that coordinates those functions, but throughout human history, we have associated the heart with feelings of love and joy, and this is exactly where this habit intersects for us.
Metaphysicists know that the heart and brain communicate with each other via metaphysical frequencies. Your heart can respond to the commands of the brain even without any direct communication pathways. You can also change the physiology of an office plant by thinking about setting it on fire.
More to the point, this habit favors people who value their spiritual potential because this habit will guide you to the expressions of care and love toward others who you seek.
How you look at others impacts how they respond to you, as well. For instance, if you stare at someone's left eye, right eye, then forehead, you are actually sequentially expressing hostility and intimidation. Sure, this can be great if you are helping a child understand his/her actions, or reprimanding an employee if you are a manager, but this can be a potentially limiting behavior if you are doing it unconsciously. Similarly, you can express intimacy or sexual desire for another person by looking at one of his/her eyes, then shift focus to their lips, and then making contact with the other eye; this strategy uses the same triangular sequence as the other of intimidation, but it will have a completely different effect and result.
If you frequently stress about how you are making eye contact with others, you may begin giving yourself peace of mind by accepting this habit into your life by making it a conscious choice to look directly into people’s left eye (remember: it’s on your right, visually) as you converse with them. You can know in your heart that you are connecting with theirs. There is no relationship if there is no connection.
Homework Preceding Day Six
For this exercise, I would like you to notice how you are currently making eye contact with others. Are you holding eye contact? Are you holding it too intensely that others have expressed their discomfort?
With each person you address today, make it your interactive mission to look right into his/her soul; look directly into the left eye. Connect your heart to another.
How did this exercise make you feel? Has your mind quieted now that you know on which eye to focus and why?