The Ultimate Guide to Social Self-Mastery
10 Social Habits Destined to UP Your Interpersonal Game
Habit 4: Walking slightly faster.
Have you ever walked a timed a mile and averaged out your speed in miles per hour? If you have, is it one to two? Three to four? Above five? Somewhere in-between?
It is known that people who choose to walk faster are perceived as higher status than their peers who have chosen to walk more slowly. Walking slightly faster enhances your self-projection, giving you an air of having a grander sense of purpose, authority, and confidence. What can this information mean to you?
The habit of walking faster is a practice with an element of balance, if you will. If I were hastily walking along, almost in a jog-like fashion, wouldn’t you think I was late or in a rush? Most likely. If you are perceived as rushed, people do not interpret you as an important person, and this has an opposite effect.
You see, walking faster is status-enabling: it brings others to the conclusion that you are important and are thus all the positive attributes associated with being important.
How is walking briskly, and being perceived as important, any different than walking at other speeds, faster or slower, that will symbolically project you as someone of low-importance?
If you walk too slowly, you are dismissed. If you walk too fast, you are dismissed. So, how can you do it? Balancing the speed at which you walk is an art.
If you actively choose to engage in brisker walking paces, it is important for you to know how to maximize your perceptive potential. Let’s examine:
By taking what we have learned in Day One training, about pausing before entering rooms and periodically checking-in with yourself emotionally, and combining it with the habit of walking briskly, you will be able to enhance, and ultimately feel more self-confident. Self-confident persons are those who project importance. These people are far more likely to receive positive feedback from others; they may even be treated better. This type of interpersonal feedback can have a compounding effect on our lives, whether we believe in it or not. How we interact with people, and how they interact with us, is one of the cornerstones of life and success. Let’s focus:
The speed at which you walk has to be comfortable, and also be within reason. If you have attributes that require other special attention, attend to those first and then gauge your new speed accordingly. The speed at which we crossover from non-importance to importance will differ for everyone, regardless of physical circumstances, so it is necessary to understand that threshold.
One of the indicators of this habit’s effectiveness is that you will notice the inclined attention from others. Likewise, people will stand more out of your way as you walk. They will smile more at you. They will feel compelled to know everything about you.
I would like to take a moment to address the dark side of this habit: the increased potential for arrogant and narcissistic behavior. Both arrogance and narcissism are low-status behaviors that stem from neediness, which is not an attractive quality by anyone’s standards. To benefit the most, you must have a humble sense of self because if you walk around without care and in ignorance for others’ safety, you are only concerned about your projection and you are doing it all wrong. It is important to note that if you are doing this: you still will not win.
Homework Preceding Day Five
Let’s recap: briskly walking is associated with confidence and societal importance in people. People who walk with a spring in their step, and wave their arms in the flow of their movement, are exactly those effectively identifying this habit.
Take a moment to reflect on your walking habits. How are you normally feeling while you are walking? Are you feeling any non-positive emotions? Have you ever recorded video of yourself and your gait?
How are people acknowledging your presence? When you are walking around, are they actively passing you, as if you are walking too slowly or are in the way? Are they super-focused on your presence and are mentally undressing you as if you are Johnny Depp?
When you go about your day, walk with a sense of pride. Be important: walk as if the task you were performing was the very task that would save the world; it is that important. Feel as if you are on a mission to deliver good news to the President: you are walking fast, but you are not walking so fast that it’s causing your muscles to ache.
After doing this for one whole day, how does walking different feel in contrast to your other gait? Are they at all similar?