How to Know When It’s Time to Say “I Love You”
I love you.
We all crave to hear those three little words come from the mouth of the one we love the most, cementing the feelings we have for each other into a deeper relationship.
The problem with today’s society, however, is that there’s a thin line between when telling your romantic partner you love them is accepted and appreciated, and when it can potentially scare them off.
You love them, it’s obvious, and even go as far as to hope that they love you too. But how do you know it’s time to put your mouth where your heart is, without moving too fast?
Ask Yourself if it’s Really Love
Let’s be honest here: there are far too many relationships out there that start with an “I love you”, and end with heartbreak.
So, before you say the L word, critically analyze your heart first to know if you really mean it.
When you like someone, you think they’re attractive, you like their personality, you find them fun to be around, you care for their wellbeing, and you wonder if maybe you’ve found the one.
When you love someone, you think they’re the sexiest person in the world even if they’re the opposite of model-material, you adore them, can happily see yourself spending every minute of every day with them, would die for them, are willing to painfully work out your problems rather than run from them, and know, without a doubt, that they are the only one for you.
If you’re not ready to put your romantic partner above yourself in everything, caring for them till the end, then it’s not love.
Sure, you might have feelings for them, but if your feelings don’t match up with the ones described above, don’t cheat your partner – and yourself – out of finding someone who will truly love them for them.
Because I promise you, your soulmate is out there!
Look to See if it’s Mutual
As suggested above, when someone loves you, truly loves you, it’s obvious.
They’ll do anything for you, are your shoulder to cry on, stand up for you, care for you, take the time to get to know the real you, make compromises, put in the work, make large and small gestures of adoration, and don’t bail on the relationship when things inevitably get tough.
You may find that you truly love your partner, but before you dive in head-first with a heartfelt “I love you”, test to see if they feel the same way.
Anyone can think they feel love after a hormone charged session of intercourse, so avoid the temptation to simply check the box marked “yes” after physical displays of love. Rather, pay attention to the little interactions you have together in your day-to-day life.
Do you catch them staring at you when they think you’re not looking? Do they go out of their way to make each day a little bit brighter and easier? Are they comfortable to spend the whole day talking to you? Do they easily open up to you about their fears, thoughts, and dreams? Do they stand up for you, stand for you, and take on your problems as their own? Do you feel palpably loved and safe when you’re sitting in silence together?
If your answer to these questions is “yes”, then it’s probably safe to conclude that they’re deeply in love with you too!
Another fun way to test the waters of “I love you”, is to say it in another language, inside joke, or pun worthy of a Princess Bride’s “as you wish”. It doesn’t quite feel the same way as when you say it plainly to their face, but is meaningful enough to give you a sneak peek as to their reaction!
Be Bold and Say it!
When all is said and done, it all comes down to simply having the courage to look your crush in the eyes, and tell them that you love them.
Sure, you can always wait for the right moment, but don’t let “waiting for the right moment” become an excuse to never say how you really feel. Life is short, and chances are your partner is in the same “I love you” limbo as you are. There are thousands of “right moments” that will pass you by every day, if you let it.
If you’re truly sure that you’ve found the one, and they feel the same way towards you, don’t waste precious time that could be spent forwarding your relationship into a lover’s bliss, by overthinking in silence.
Love is, and has never been a logical response of the brain. It’s a reaction of the heart – an instinctual feeling. So, don’t ever be afraid to act upon your instincts!
Just be sure that when you do say it, you mean it – really mean it – and you always will, even when things get tough.
In today’s society, love has become a boring, broken cliché. But that doesn’t mean it has to become true for your own relationship.