Defining Vanity, And How It Is Frequently Confused With Self-Love

You may have been contemplating recently: what is vanity and how is it not self-love, or is it?

Understanding the similarities and differences becomes much easier once we understand that our upbringing teaches us about self-confidence: what it is and what it is not. Even more interestingly, our society seems to have us all convinced that having self-confidence and self-love is somehow wrong, and if we are in possession of these personal attributes then we are subjects of public scrutiny!

The destructive results of this collective understanding are dumbfounding. When we were younger and even to this day, we are often disciplined or rewarded for our behaviors. We may find that we are consistently allowing others to walk all over us, figuratively, or that we are constantly putting others’ needs above our own. This can easily become exhausting and frustrating, and doing this can easily take us onto the lesser path of low self-esteem instead of higher self-confidence.

Hence, we must ask: what is the difference between self-love and vanity? Let’s go deeper into this subject: we will distinguish between the two and then help you begin progress on your paths of self-development.

Superior Advice on Choosing Your Circle of Friends Wisely

Let us consider for a moment that by being more selective about who is keeping our companies, we can improve the rates and speeds in which we see results in our lives. By now, it is safe to assume that it has become wide-spread knowledge that we are, in character, the sum of our five closest friends, so if we are not selective of our tribes, we can unknowingly deviate ourselves from enhancing our confidences, courageousness’s, self-loves and acceptances and move in the paths of disappointments, anger and devastations. Thus, it is imperative that we actively choose our friends and the other companies with which we spend most of our time, since by not actively choosing our friends we can influence our mindsets into conditions that become far better or worse (usually worse).

Imagine that with an exceptional support system, you truly have it all: the “perfect life.” Well, the American Dream is not far behind us when we take opportunities for growth to fundamentally enhance our confidence levels to unseen and unheard-of heights. While we lift ourselves up, naturally, we begin projecting these benefits onto our closest friends in acts of universal reciprocation.

We, at Project: Dream Life, can understand that taking giant leaps out of your comfort zone will make you feel uneasy at times: cutting ourselves off from toxic people and relationships can be unpleasant, to say the least; however, it is important that we realize that some of the greatest achievements in life are not necessarily easy or pleasant accomplishments. That is not to say that life must be full of suffering; we mean quite the contrary: it is possible to politely request of negative people some relational distance.

By making our relational decisions consciously, we begin setting boundaries for ourselves and, as a result, gain healthy levels of self-respect. We may have defined once defined this concept as hard to fathom when others weren’t treating us in the ways we wished to be treated. After diligent practice, you will begin noticing that you have adopted the subconscious habit of only allowing positive people into your life.

Self-Love is Not Narcissism: it is an Extroverted Display of Healthy Introspection

Narcissism is quite dissimilar from self-love and confidence. Adopting narcissistic natures can be extremely self-depreciating; after doing so, we often encourage jealousy and unhealthy rivalries among our peers. This means that we encourage dominance by yielding in to destructive behaviors, rather than promoting our joys, wellnesses, equalities and justices.

Spot the Narcissist

Arrogance is one of the tell-tale signs that you may have adopted some narcissistic tendencies. How often are you thinking of others as lesser peoples than you?

In the times when we are most full of ourselves, we tend to become easily disgruntled and angered when we are confronted with any amounts of criticism, whether they are constructive or not. When we do this, we are figuratively shooting ourselves in the feet, since we will often find ourselves lashing out in retaliation; this is not a win for any person.                                                                               

It is important that we understand that putting people down emotionally, and especially tangibly or physically, is a display of incredibly weak and unconfident behavior. Sometimes, in fleeting moments of insanity, we may attempt to belittle people whom have given us their (perhaps rather) candid and direct feedback.

Self-composure: the Antonym of the Narcissist

Defining Self-Love

Self-love is a considerably multi-faceted concept: it is onset by adopting a series of positive mental habits. By adopting self-love mentalities, our lives become enriched and we begin to have stronger confidences in knowing that we are enough: no greater or lesser than others. We feel an increased sense in our ability to perform.

Self-love allows us to move through day-to-day life with stronger senses of purpose and value. Almost instantly after we begin taking necessary steps towards self-loving acts, we come to know our true pricelessness; we begin to intuitively understand that nobody else or anything will be able to get in the way of us and momentous self-love successes.

Embracing Self-Love

To fully embrace self-love, we must understand that we have tremendous personal power; we have unlimited creative potential which can be used to our benefits. We ask that you please not give away your personal power: this is a tragedy. It is almost a fact that you will encounter ‘haters’ and receive seemingly unprovoked criticisms from them. Even though you could be prepared for such events, know that you have the ultimate power to dictate yourself and that no one else has the power make you feel bad about loving yourself without your permission. When we give away our power, self-love can be an intimidating construct, especially when taken under a vanity lens; so, if you consider yourself vain, you will not begin to transform your life until you redirect your focuses onto uplifting the people in your life instead of inflating your ego; you can easily accomplish this by showing the people in your life the heart-felt compassion you know to be at the core of your being.

Who knows! It may take you completely by surprise when people are returning the love you have shared with them and are now sharing it exponentially unto you in the same!

Self-love is Positive, Warm, Caring and an Affirmation of Yourself

Many of us misinterpret the notion that loving ourselves is somehow wrong or incorrect. We do this by viewing self-love in a way of our suffering, which aids in our developments of low self-esteem, anger or feelings of a compulsive need to act out of fear— as a result, we often turn to vanity, and by now we know how this does not necessarily lead us to greater paths in life.

Self-care is a basic necessity, much like air, food and water. Loving yourself actually makes the world more pleasant for everyone, not just for you. Would you like to know why this is? It is because self-love and compassion are closely interconnected: they are deeply interwoven.

To really treat others as you wish to be treated, you must first treat yourself with the same self-respect and manners in which you wish for others to treat you! By sharing your worldly compassions, you will naturally guide yourself towards inner peace and happiness.

If you are leaning, narcissistically, in the direction of personal self-destruction, realize that you are not alone! Ultimately, it is fantastic that you can recognize this about yourself, since not many people can accurately identify these types of behaviors. Once you have become aware that you may have them, you can begin to move on with life! Isn’t that exciting news?!

Honesty, consistency and compassion towards you and others is a great step in achieving this.

You are worthy of love—from others and definitely from yourself!

Stay blessed.


You can learn more by downloading the Ultimate Guide to Social Self-Mastery eBook!


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