Projecting Strengths and Attracting Romantic Partners


It is a basic human need to seek out connections with other people; platonic and intimate relationships alike. Striking up a conversation with someone that you are interested in intimately can feel daunting, leaving you with a loss for words or ideas on how to approach them authentically. With the proper tools, practice and mindset, you can project your strengths, get out there, and attract romantic partners with confidence in yourself.

When you realize that you are interested in someone it is best to be yourself, which is easier said than done. Someone wants to know you for you; they don’t want to find out five months down the road that you aren’t who you said you were. The key to being yourself begins with how you view yourself. Practice and seek out ways to build your self-esteem and self-confidence. If you need some guidance on how to practice for a conversation with a potential partner, you could practice like you would for an interview. Research questions that help open up dialogue between two people, and you can think about how you would answer the questions too.

Some of those questions could be:

  • What are you passionate about?
  • What are your goals for the future?
  • What are your favorite foods/types of movies/colors/music?If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Why?

People want to feel connected to others on a deeper level, so taking the steps to truly get to know someone is the first step to developing a romantic relationship. When they answer these questions, actively listen to what they are saying rather than planning out your own response. Paraphrase what they said so that they know you heard and understood them. If you feel like there is a lull in the conversation, that is ok. You don’t have to fill every silence with conversation. And sometimes it is ok to be honest and let them know that you are a little nervous. When you are honest and upfront, it allows them to empathize with your position rather than be “turned off” by it.

Flirting can be difficult when there is already anxiety about the conversations that might or might not happen. Flirting doesn’t need to be in your face, and overt, unless that is your natural way of communicating. Flirting doesn’t have to involve any form of physical contact. Eye contact alone can be a powerful tool, especially if you are in a bigger group of friends. Connect with your eyes with the person you are interested in. Show them that you are listening when they speak up. Contribute to the conversation that they are having to show that you care about what they have to say, and if they are interested, they will reciprocate. Showing your interest can go as far as a thoughtful gesture. Did they say they liked a certain type of music or book? Give them some recommendations that you think they might like, or, if you know them on a deeper level, gift them music or a book that you think they might like. You can also ask if they have any recommendations for you. People love to give advice, and your interest in their opinions will leave a positive impression on them.

There are a variety of ways that you can meet a potential romantic partner, it just takes a little creativity, dedication, and self-confidence to step outside of your comfort zone. The most important step is getting out there to actually meet people, although many relationships have formed online; an online relationship requires another level of filtering through people that can hide their intentions because you can’t see or attempt to read their body language. Many great friendships and relationships can begin on the internet, but taking it further towards a romantic relationship should require meeting face-to-face, as well. You can meet people at local classes, workshops, concerts, the playground (only if you have children already), or your job. The sky really is the limit. You can find local gatherings online and RSVP to them. All that is left is showing up. You can research information about the type of gathering that you are going to so that you have an idea of topics that you can discuss, and you will feel more confident in your knowledge.

Attracting potential romantic partners doesn’t have to be a dreaded experience. Building up your own confidence and self-esteem with positive self-talk, practice, and experience will increase your chances of catching someone’s eye. People like other people that are true to themselves, honest, fun, and even quirky; that’s what makes us all unique and relatable. If you go into situations with intentions of just having a good time, your energy will come off to others as confident, free-spirited, and fun to be around. When someone that you are interested in shows that they are also interested, strike up a conversation, actively listen when they speak, and be true to who you are.


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